January 2010
68 posts
“TOO MUCH”
My rich aunt is in town
me: mom, what time are we going to dinner?
mom: oh my gosh! guess what? the place we're going is a vegan restaurant.
me: oh cool, what is it?
mom: quiessence.
me: oh i've never heard of it. thanks that's awesome! you guys don't have to do that for me.
aunt nina: no they have real stuff too. oh gosh we would never do that, are you kidding me?
Thanks!
“If you have something to say, than say it to the right face.”
*me, megan, giselle eating at a diner somewhere between tucson and tempe*
megan: should i get coffee? i feel like i should get coffee.
me: you definitely should. look where we are.
megan: i dunno. what would johnny do?
I literally just spent 14 minutes using a shirt to swat at a fly that was buzzing around in my room and bouncing off the walls. It felt like one of those irritating short cartoons. I finally got him out and now I keep imagining the sound of him.
via text
Johnny (tweet): I found a used tampon stuck in an empty toilet paper roll underneath the sink. Fucking took me three minutes to figure out what it was.
Me: Oh my gosh! Haha it wasn't me.
Johnny: Whoever smelt it dealt it.
Me: So...you?
Johnny: Fuck. The one who denied it supplied it.
Me: There ya go.
“Two-headed boy
Put on Sunday shoes
And dance round the room to accordion keys...”
In my dream I was at Robby’s house, which was really Ang’s house, with him and Calvin and Andrew watching the super bowl. Robby had 2 older brothers that looked exactly like his dad. He had an internship at his mom’s workplace. The super bowl was a tie. Then I was with Sprinkles and one of his friends. They were visiting AZ and i said “Hey! We should ride our bikes to...
I had
THE most realistic dream about me getting married. It was to some skinny goofy blond guy. My friends drove by me in a car as I was walking home before the wedding and they were all wearing dresses and asking me where to go. On of them had a HUGE pot plant. Then we had the wedding outside and the parents approved. But I don’t think mine knew. And when the dude said “You may kiss the...
matt (to me): what did you do today?
johnny: this is where you say 'your mom.'
me: your mom.
pause
me (to matt): what did you do today?
johnny (to matt): this is where you say 'your mom.'
matt: your mom.
johnny: sandy, ask me what i did today.
me: what did you do today johnny?
johnny: your mom.
johnny: and your dad. and your pets. and your brothers.
me: ask me what my mom did today johnny.
johnny: what did your mom do today sandy?
me: my dad.
johnny: and matt.
me: and you.
me: mm word.
mom: mm word.
I’m having the hardest time deciding what movie to watch. Fuck?
“I love Krysten and Karina”
“I miss Clint I miss Clint I miss Clint I miss Clint I miss Clint I miss Clint I...”
Wow I didn’t know this song was so good!
“I come home in the morning light, my mother says “When you gonna live your...”
Awww
Yesterday my older brother Jarred switched rooms with my younger brother Mark. Jarred and I spent the entire day painting/cleaning/moving things between the rooms. At the end of the night, Jarred told me he walked into the room and found my Mom in the closet, crying. When she saw him she got up and left. I immediately became worried and thought “Gosh, I hope she didn’t hear me make a...
Jarred: Did I tell you I joined a club cheerleading squad?
Me: No, you didn't...
Jarred: Yeah, it's going to be awesome.
Me: What club?
Jarred: KMS. (kyrene middle school)
*Jarred and Mark talking about switching rooms*
Jarred: Hmmm...maybe we should ask Roberto.
Mark: Who's Roberto?
Jarred: Only the guy that helps people move!
WatchIt’s weird to think that when I’m 40 this will still be on the internet and I can show it to my kids. Like I have hard proof of this memory and not only the story. Even though I’d rather tell the story, I still have the option of showing them. And then they can be like “Mom…why did you guys film this whole thing for almost 7 minutes. It’s boring.”
p.s. if...
via text
Me: What was that one movie you told me to watch recently, i think you said it was a rom com?
Johnny: I have no idea.
Johnny: (20 minutes later) How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Me: GOOD ONE DUDE.
There have been construction men at my house fixing drywall for the past 3 days. Every morning when I wake up and sleepily stumble out of my room to go pee, I say hi to all of them and smile. They smile back at me and I go back into my room, shut the door, and listen to them make jokes in spanish. I like it.
WatchRyan showed me this music video last night and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s a really fantastic video. One that is all crazy but actually makes sense. You should watch it. The band is called “Alvin Band” and the song is called “Temple Pressure”.