January 2012
17 posts
working at a macrobiotic restaurant
(on the phone)
guy: i heard that you only heat your food to 80 degrees, but the law says food should be heated to 145.
me: what?
guy repeats himself.
me: ok. well we do what the law says.
guy: how do you know the temperature of your food?
me: we use a thermometer to check it.
guy: well just because i said food is supposed to be heated to 145 degrees doesn't mean you guys do it. how do i know you guys do it?
me: we follow the law.
guy: well i heard from someone that you guys only heat it to 80 degrees!
me: how would they know what we heat our food to?
guy (very serious): *scoffs* they would know.
me: uncontrollable miniature laugh exhalation.
guy: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
you could say i’m in a rough patch.
dear future self
i just wanted to tell you, i’m glad you kept trying. and i’m glad that you have such a complete and full understanding of acting. because right now it sucks. like really really sucks. i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing. i think i’m doing everything wrong. and i think i suck. and it’s cyclical and frustrating and embarrassing and i hate it. so good fucking job....
all daydreams are about ego or sex.
– this is the first day of the rest of my life
why is life HARD?! UGH.
what the fuck is my life
December 2011
15 posts
i don’t think i will eat again for 2 years.
cuntfused
being home makes me feel like i belong here.
i wake up. i get out of bed. i get to choose from 8 different cereals. i get to choose from 8 different teas. my dad and i have a whispered conversation. petal looks at me through the wooden pillars of the landing. i make a noise and she rushes towards me. i sit on the couch. i look outside. i drink the tea. i think about going to work out with my...
I AM THE MASTER OF STALLING AND YOU CANNOT BEAT ME!
today i had a big break through in class and it felt really good. my teacher was genuinely impressed with me and kept me after to ask if i understood that i have it. i don’t know if this makes sense to anyone but it’s a grand feeling. it means that i’m learning. it means that what i’m here for is working. so i went on a walk and i let this feeling just live inside me. i...
can someone por favor recommend me some good good hip hop and pop music? by good i mean good.
hero.
Seems like I’ve been having lots of struggles lately. When I look at them from a distance they’re not really struggles at all. They’re all internal. What it comes down to is the practice of acceptance and positivity. Those are things that I must master. I am a master of negativity, beating myself up, and judging myself after. I got that down.
Every time someone ever gave me the...
November 2011
29 posts
this just blew my fucking brains all over the apartment